Haute Resolutions for a Sweet ’16

Superhero in heels

Follow these resolutions and be a superhero in heels. Photo courtesy of Do It In Paris.

Ugh. I really dislike New Year’s Eve. There’s pressure to “have something to do” on the last evening of the year, to be a social butterfly on the ultimate of party nights.

Then there’s that whole stroke of midnight thing where everyone fake-wishes one another a happy new year, while they ignore each other for the rest of the year.

Then there’s the whole outfit to think about, makeup and hairdo. You need to welcome the new year in style, as if it’s a blind date you’re trying to impress.

But the worst of all is the anxiety of resolutions. Or rather, the anxiety of keeping those resolutions that you have carefully jotted down on the morning of December 31 while you were getting your nails done.

While mine include the same things every year (learn a new language, stop procrastinating, be kinder to my hair and feet) – with the exception of last year’s No Resolution resolution – this year I have decided to adopt some resoSHOEtions. That’s right. Resolutions about shoes.

  1. Thou shalt make an inventory of your shoe closet. Très important, this one. Before purchasing yet another pair of shoes, take stock of what you already have. You may be surprised at all the unworn or forgotten pairs of shoes that are lurking in the deep corners of your closet. This task is especially useful when you’re about to go shopping or hit the sales. Make it fun by trying them on and twirling in front of the mirror.
  2. Thou shalt declutter your shoe closet. After the inventory, place them all in a line. Like a drill sergeant, consider each pair and choose the ones you no longer like, will never wear, have never worn. Place them in a pile to sell or donate.
  3. Thou shalt not buy new shoes because you now have extra space in your closet. Just because you got rid of what you no longer need does not mean you have to replace them at all costs. No, you don’t need that ninth pair of boots. Sure, you only live once but you can live without 347 pairs of shoes, even if they’re on sale.
  4. Thou shalt not succumb to attractive prices, ie cheap shoes. It’s better to have fewer pairs of good quality shoes than a gazillion pairs of cheap ones. However, good quality does not mean designer. It can be a high street brand but it’s up to you look at all the details of the shoe, to take the time to try them on and make an assessment based on comfort, sizing, “cut.”
  5. Thou shalt not walk long distances in high heels and therefore thou shalt be kinder to your poor feet. If you walk a lot, always carry a dainty tote to take a pair of cute sneakers, espadrilles or ballerina flats (Bagllerina makes cute foldable ones that come in an equally cute pouch, making it easy and stylish to carry around) to hit the pavement in comfort. Your feet will thank you. (Mine are currently very, very angry at moi.)
  6. Thou shalt always take good care of your shoes. Have them resoled and reheeled, waterproof them with a special spray, polish them… and talk to them. They’re like plants – they love to hear sweet nothings.
  7. Thou shalt not wear inappropriate shoes such as stripper shoes or 20 cm heels. They only look good near a pole.
  8. Thou shalt not wear heels you cannot walk in. (See 7) You can’t walk in them at all? They’re either too high or you need a quick lesson. There are special courses for that – check your local Yellow Pages or ask high-end shoe stores or even modeling agencies. Otherwise watch runway models as they strut down the catwalk. Practice at home – you’ll master it in no time.
  9. Thou shalt not make untenable resolutions such as “I’ll never buy another uncomfortable heel again” or, ick, “I’ll only buy ‘reasonable’ shoes from now on.” It’s like trying to give up chocolate, you’ll never last. And what exactly is “reasonable”? Unreasonable is fun.

So be unreasonable, wear those funky heels and chase your dreams for a Sweet ’16. I don’t know about you, but heels make me run faster.

Happy New Year

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